Madame Bovary 包法利夫人（英文版）

She wished at the same time to die and to live in Paris. “她既想死，又想去巴黎。”我想這幾乎是當下每個人內心的寫照，她並不是真的想死，巴黎也只是一個出口的代名詞。這兩件事其實指向的是同一種東西：她無法忍受此刻的生活。 福樓拜寫的是十九世紀的Madame Bovary，最驚人的是這正是現代人的精神狀態。Emma有家庭，有愛她的丈夫，有穩定的生活，可她對生命的想象如此的熱烈，於是她嚮往愛情，嚮往巴黎、舞會、奢侈等等，這些都在告訴她另一種可能的人生。“At bottom of her heart, however, she was waiting for something to happen. Like shipwrecked sailors, she turned despairing eyes upon the solitude of her life, seeking afar off some white sail in the mists of the horizon. She did not know what this chance would be, what wind would bring it her, towards what shore it would drive her, if it would be a shallop or a three-decker, laden with anguish or full of bliss to the portholes. But each morning, as she awoke, she hoped it would come that day; she listened to every sound, sprang up with a start, wondered that it did not come; then at sunset, always more saddened, she longed for the morrow.” 生活本不該是這樣，也本不該只是這樣。於是我們不斷刷新着人生的劇本，戀愛、自由、遠方。我們見過或者親歷過其他的可能性，於是再也難以安心的活在唯一的一種人生裏。困住Emma和每一個我的，並不是“追求愛情”，我們真正無法忍受的是“人生竟然只能這樣”。“She did not believe that things could present themselves in the same way in different places, and since the portion of her life lived had been bad, no doubt that which remained to be lived would be better.” 歷來對《包法利夫人》的分析貫穿不同的時代，Emma的道德墮落與虛榮，文學塑造人的慾望，消費主義，女性主義，存在主義等等。 但是，“Madame Bovary, c’est moi.”包法利夫人就是我。不斷地重讀這部著作，就會在不同時期更加清醒的看到自己。20歲的我把很多意義都寄託在所謂愛情裏，如今30歲的我開始從更大的世界理解和建立自我。希望最後回看時，我不會感嘆人生竟然只能這樣。而這種“真正的人生在別處”的痛苦，或許會伴隨着每一代人的陣痛一直持續下去吧。 First, upon the eyes, that had so coveted all worldly pomp; then upon the nostrils, that had been greedy of the warm breeze and amorous odours; then upon the mouth, that had uttered lies, that had curled with pride, and cried out in lewdness ; then upon the hands that had delighted in sensual touches; and finally upon the soles of the feet, so swift of yore, when she was running to satisfy her desires, and that would now walk no more. 福樓拜的語言是那種能夠很精準的刺入你內心的，午後的光線，瀰漫房間的砒霜的味道，情人的腳步聲，所有的細節堆積起來比任何語言描述都更讓我窒息。有時候我分不清到底是不是Emma的思想在真實的說話了，作者的聲音，人物的特點，內心的獨白完全融合在一起。我一邊理解Emma，卻又一邊看着她被幻想吞噬。 最後，男性們能不能別隱身了。Charles可以說是很平庸很典型的一個老實人了，所以那些追求精神共鳴害怕孤獨的女性們，看看你們進入的婚姻到底是什麼樣的吧。“Emma dreamed of her marriage day; she saw herself at home again amid the corn in the little path as they walked to the church. Oh, why had not she, like this woman, resisted, implored? She, on the contrary, had been joyous, without seeing the abyss into which she was throwing herself.”Rodolphe和Leon？美美隱身？歷來只有Emma承擔了全部批評聲，到底什麼纔是“病”。

Precise and sharp. The agricultural show scene is masterful: Rodolphe whispers seduction to Emma while officials announce farming prizes. Flaubert cuts between romantic clichés and mundane reality, showing how cheap words win over genuine feeling. Emma is too proud to ask Charles for help and ends herself over what feels like a money problem dressed up as despair. Charles, dull and devoted, is the real victim. The blind man haunts like a broken conscience. Flaubert’s choice to continue after Emma’s death — showing Homais rewarded, Charles rotting — feels cold, not clever.

有什麼東西是你願意承擔風險和代價也要去偷的呢？如果你願意冒着風險去偷的“情”，必須情真意切的纔有價值。 她偷的是浪漫的幻影，抵押的是真實的性命，這正是最典型的負不對稱（用一切換虛無）。 如果剝離法律字眼，回到“用有限代價撬動無價之物”的本質，我願意冒着“被誤解、被孤立、浪費時間”的風險去“偷”的，只有一樣東西：偷“未被幹擾的當下”。 情真意切之處：因爲它是真實對抗虛構的堡壘。包法利夫人偷的是小說裏的橋段，硬套進庸常生活，結果錯付。 包法利夫人的錯付，根本在於她偷錯了對象：她偷的是“被愛慕的幻象”，而非“愛自己的能力”；抵押的是無法再生的生命本金，換來的卻是消費主義的贗品。