人性的枷鎖（英文版）

It's been quite a long time to finish reading the English version of Maugham's autobiography story The Human Bondage, as having read its translation version, I have no haste in pushing forward in finding out the new plots, it seems more like waiting to see an old friend when you turn to a new chapter and know that Philip has come to a new stage of his life , mind, emotion and spirit.       Deformed as he was, he had been the target of ridicule and contempt all along his cildhood and youth, all his efforts in seeking  and wandering had been results of inner fighting for proof and evidence of his own worthiness and equal chance to realize his heart's desire and dream.His long time solitary has been rewarded with reading, his inward mind has been nourished    by aboundant stories and maybe equally solitary souls in literature and paintings. His reason developed mostly not from his collision with    the world of matter but the world of words and color. His learning experience in Germany and France had been important in enriching his understanding of people, arts and actual living burdens, especially during his contacts with those who had been friends with him even when was back in London, such as Hayward, Cronshaw, Lawson and so on.      His life story's main focus was in London, where he sought to get his doctor qualification. During which He encountered the woman that left him with taste of passion also endless pains. Mildred, a restaurant waitress, young, slim but vainglory, got Philip's attention, affection and mad pursuit. But Mildred had never really loved Philip, even when she was abandoned by Miller, received generous financial support and care from Philip. Mildred ran with Philip's neighbor and schoolmate Griffith, left him with despair of humanity and cruelty of life. His sensation with Norah was a beautiful coincidence and     pitiful mismatch of time and space. Philip suffered despair of being bankrupt due to investment failure, under extreme poverty, to the point of wandering and passing the night in street, he had to quit his medicine learning and went to look for jobs. He was saved by his patient friend Athelny, who helped him locate a humble job and make him survived the worst time of his life, whose daughter Sally finally became his wife.       Philip resumed his medical study two years later after the quit when he inherited his uncle's possessions after the old vicar's death. He managed to get his doctor licence after nearly seven years in all and began medical practice at the age of thirty. At the end of the story, Philip's relation with doctor South and Sally, especially the experience of picking hops with Athelny family revealed Maugham's life ideal. The real joy of life is actually simple, however and wherever one travels and explores, he finally has to settle down with someone, family will be the best medicine for the solitary mind and soul. Whatever high hopes can not match the pleasure and consent provided by the warmth and harmony a family tend to produce.This is what Philip had been missing all his life journey, and finally he tied the knot with simple,young, healthy and kind Sally.       TO Maugham, this is to his heart's desire   work which depicts his own life story and gives readers chance to walk close to him and to  his life, by which we also know  better his The Moon and Sixpence, thus his attitude of life and life's ideal.

最開始套上的是宗教的枷鎖，伯伯是牧師，伯母是虔誠的基督徒，這樣的成長環境，小小的菲利普自然對上帝深信不疑。第一次懷疑是，有一天伯伯告訴他，只要足夠虔誠，上帝會讓人心想事成，而因殘疾飽受嘲笑的菲最想要的是健全的身體。於是他按照大人的指引，用自虐的方式來向上帝祈禱，一個個目標日期過去了，而他所想要的奇蹟並沒有出現，後來他去了德國留學，才發現不同地方的人對一些事物的不同看法，有些執着在外人看來毫無意義，在當地人卻是不可或缺的，才重新審視自己對宗教的認識，漸漸地明白這不過是一種心靈的寄託，信仰並不能帶來確定的幸福 20來歲的時候遇上了喜歡自己的人，這對於從小寄居籬下，最好的待遇不過是伯伯開心的時候分給他的一點蛋尖，因極度缺乏愛而極度自卑的菲來說，這被愛的感覺真是太好了。被愛讓自己意識到自己的獨特，通過對方的眼睛發現自己的優點，後來發現自己並不能回報同樣的感情，對方的愛就像是套脖子上的枷鎖，壓得喘不過氣來，便只能不了了之了 在巴黎學畫的兩年，見識了各種爲了追尋夢想而奮鬥的人。我們一直有種錯覺，以爲喜歡就是自己的優勢，假以時日終有所成，但藝術是極挑人的，光學會技術上的東西，充其量只是一個工匠……有個沒天分的女生因窮再也堅持不下去而選擇了自殺，給了菲利普當頭一棒，他戰戰兢兢請教了頗有名望的教授，確定自己再努力也至多是個二流畫家。雖然已學了兩年，各種成本都已投入不少，他還是選擇了放棄，接受自己能力範圍的侷限性，是我們一輩子要學的東西 回到倫敦學醫，去飯店喫飯的時候遇上了對他不理不睬的米爾德，爲了吸引對方的注意力，菲持續光顧。到後來錯把征服欲當成了愛情，進行了一系列無腦的操作，每次看到他內心對米無限嫌棄，又爲了讓米願意他陪而不計成本，就很倒胃口……畢竟年輕吧，對於想要什麼樣的愛人，該如何去愛，還沒有具體的瞭解，所以無底限的堅持最終除了感動了自己，一無所獲……在米跟另一個人一起的時候，菲遇上了另一個女人，她是真愛着菲，讓菲明白女人真愛一個人會是什麼樣的，只可惜他只是因爲寂寞而暫時的停留，當米帶着體無完膚的傷口回來找他，他又再次充當聖人般的戀人角色。這一段經歷讓人看的很想扔書，但回頭想想，年輕的時候，是有可能在錯誤的方向一條道走到黑的，誰又分得清什麼是愛，什麼只是想要征服的對象呢 跟米爾德在一起花錢如流水，讓菲利普迫切需要增加收入，但是作爲學徒的他還沒有經濟來源，剛好有個股票經紀人天天在那裏慫恿大家炒股，菲很動心，就投了一些錢，這一次獲利30%。這一下菲以爲發現財路了，再被邀請的時候就投了自己的所有，結果被套，又因爲損失厭惡心理而堅持到全軍覆沒的地步。一無所有的菲寫信向伯伯求救，被對方一口回絕。嗯，細想一下，這個年輕人已經25歲了，敗光了父母留下的一切，還找不到謀生的手段，確實不敢幫，誰知道會不會幫出一個無底洞來……走投無路的菲睡過大街。好在在醫院實習時，因爲對病人態度很好而交到了一個朋友，最後寄居在朋友家，又在他的介紹下開始了兩年屈辱的商店職員生活，這兩年的經歷讓他真切感受到貧困纔是扼住喉嚨的枷鎖，沒錢就只能放棄所有夢想，爲求肉體的生存而耗盡所有。後來伯伯去世，給他一筆遺產，才讓他重新回到正軌。 屈從於感情是人性的枷鎖。故事寫到菲利普向薩莉求婚爲止，意味着一直在試圖擺脫枷鎖的菲這次心甘情願地給自己套上了。故事有個童話般的結局，日後的生活當然還有很多的磨難，但是相信心智足夠成熟的菲可以從容應對。他和薩莉的結合挺符合經濟學規律的，一個提供穩定，一個提供健康與年輕。[微笑] 判斷一個人是否喜歡，看他願意爲這個投入的時間長短，不喜歡的東西自然堅持不下去。而我爲它花了101個小時，從這點來看，絕對是真愛了[調皮][調皮] 打開它是因爲聽說它是毛姆的自傳體小說，最近好長一段時間都在自傳裏瞭解喜歡的人，在他們的成長記錄裏獲取營養，在這點上，毛姆提供了很多的思考，甚至給了答案。 從腳有殘疾的菲利普九歲因父母雙亡，不得不寄養在伯伯家，到他三十歲終於可以輕鬆接受自己的殘疾就像有些人的意志力薄弱一樣普通，到終於知道自己真正想要的不是遊歷世界而是和所愛的人有個小小的家，跟着他走過了成長過程中的大半生

不知道如何點評這本書，全程聽完中文，且時而沉浸，時而遊離。 但這本書的有聲版陪伴了我整個暑假及開學季，同理心了孩子們不想完成作業卻要硬着頭皮完成任務的感覺😢 最有共鳴的是童年部分，從成長到青年之後就無法帶入了。 雖然毛姆寫盡人性，但是在同一個人身上把人性的缺點展現得淋漓盡致，導致讀來真的很痛苦😣時常忍不住罵人🤬 此番言論倒不是說自己有多高尚，亦或多懵懂不識人間之苦更不是生活太過縱樂無枷鎖裹挾。 因爲主人公從小雙親病故且留下鉅額財富本是諸多瑪麗蘇的典範開局啊！無人掌控且無經濟負擔。。。 男主的跛足成了他成長路上最大的羈絆，懂又不懂這種偏執。但是三重buff疊在一起，誰還會在意跛足呢？！ 或許我自己說得輕巧了這，但依據我有限的生命體驗，摧毀人或改變人的，往往不是突如其來的重大事件。反而是點滴之中積累起來的無可奈何、無能爲力、無法言喻構成了生命中枷鎖的一環，繼而一環套一環，築成枷鎖，最終禁錮你。 也許人生有許多枷鎖，我們套了又拆。也許枷鎖就那一個，我們負重前行。。。。。。

OF HUMAN BONDAGE is a classic work by Maugham with autobiographical property.      The story is based on Maugham's personal experience and describes the entire process of the disabled Philip, the orphan, growing up.      In the face of family, love, friendship, campus, art, and ideals, Philip was struggling to seek freedom and was hard to find. In the end, he found that this is the true nature of human nature.     Can we get rid of this human bondage? What is growing and what is maturity? The answer floated in the wind, with laughter and tears.      "Why don't you write a novel like OF HUMAN BONDAGE?"        "Because I have only one life. It took me thirty years to gather materials for this story."       The youthful vigor of young people is not to be envied. What really deserves to be  appreciated is those who have experienced the hardships of life, but still have the ideal kind of fire in their hearts, and those who dance in the bondage of life are the hope of humanity!

花了61個小時讀完，看到《人性的枷鎖》英文原版，心生一念想嘗試讀英文版，讀完後給了我以後繼續讀英文原版讀物的信心，這本書從各個維度深剖了人性的善惡醜美和成長曆程，文筆細膩，有局外人的觀感，也有局內人的五味雜陳和代入感； 以菲利普的成長軌跡爲時間軸，揭露了人性的複雜、反思、糾纏和抽離的痛苦，再回歸自然，擁抱常態，接納自我。 天生的跛足，父母雙亡，寄人籬下，敏感脆弱，缺愛，伯父嚴苛強勢，伯母軟弱順從，書成了小時候黑暗裏的那道光，造就了孤僻多疑情緒化的性格缺陷，可本能地又渴望被愛被看見，越渴望越期望越失望，不被世人所關懷。 周圍的不同的人就是菲利普的一面哈哈鏡，照見了他的真善美醜，人性的多面； 《人性的枷鎖》是毛姆中年時期作品，這裏體現了人類的本能，即便曾經深陷情感泥濘，最後還是接受了那份純真的愛，物質的基本富足和愛情這兩大人生難題在本書中都沒有超脫我們常人理解範疇，而《刀鋒》是晚年之作，對愛情和物質卻有了截然不同的超脫感。

2020年就喜愛上這本英文版，由於種種原因擱置了很長時間，直到這個夏天，因爲不便遠行而有了機會靜下心來認真讀完。Philip 在巴黎學畫畫時，因爲對自己不自信而尋求老師Foinet的意見，他向老師展示了他的畫作並問老師他是否有繪畫的天賦，老師反問了他一句 “Don't you know if you have a talent?(你難道不知道你是否有天賦嗎?)"，我更想把這句話翻譯成“如果你有天賦你難道會不知道嗎？”，殘酷的大實話。老師還說了一句“You will never be anything but mediocre(除了平庸你將什麼也不是)"，徹底擊碎了Philip的畫家夢。臨走時老師又拋下一句："It is cruel to discover one's mediocrity only when it is too late.(在爲時已晚的時候才發現自己的平庸是很殘酷的)”。這些話語對應我們的人生非常貼切啊！誰不是曾經滿懷信心地要做出一番事業？可是我們終究不過是通過我們的勤奮與努力過上衣食無憂的生活而已，我們終究變得平庸，終究是走在平凡之路上！讀到故事的最後發現原來不單單信仰和熱愛可以成爲人的羈絆，夢想也可以成爲人的枷鎖，所幸Philip最終選擇了平凡的生活，給了自己一個從小就缺失的溫暖的家。大街上人來人往，太陽依舊閃耀着光芒

It seemed to him that all his life he had followed the ideals that other people, by their words or their writings, had instilled into him, and never the desires of his own heart. Always his course had been swayed by what he thought he should do and never by what he wanted with his whole soul to do. He thought of his desire to make a design, intricate and beautiful, out of the myriad, meaningless facts of life: had he not seen also that the simplest pattern, that in which a man was born, worked, married, had children, and died, was likewise the most perfect? It might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories.

許多人都想成爲不羈自由的思特里克蘭德，最後卻都活成了菲利普的模樣。 我們不能說這種生活不好，它平靜、安寧，在夫妻之愛中收穫性的滿足，在天倫之樂中收穫家的溫暖，但是……我還是直接引用《月亮和六便士》裏的一段話吧，我總是隱隱地有着這樣子感覺，但難以更好地表達，而毛姆給細緻地把它描述出來了 “這一定是世間無數對夫妻的故事。這種生活模式個人以安詳親切之感，會讓你想到一條平靜的小河，蜿蜒流過綠茸茸的牧場，旁邊樹影婆娑，最終流入浩渺的大海。不過，那大海過於平靜，過於沉寂，過於冷淡，會叫你突然隱約感到不安。也許這只是我自己的一種奇怪念頭吧——這念頭在那些日子裏異常強烈，讓我覺得大多數人所過的生活缺少了點什麼。” “我承認這種生活的社會價值，也看到這種按部就班的生活自有幸福之處，但我的血液在沸騰，渴望踏上一條波瀾壯闊的人生旅途。這種安詳寂靜的生活固然快樂，卻似乎叫我不安——我的一顆心渴望冒險，時刻準備翻越怪石嶙峋的高山，渡過暗流湧動的險灘。我渴望變化，渴望過一種無法預見的激動人心的生活。” 或許我也曾有過瑰麗、自由的夢想，但是現在我已逐漸屈服於對未知事物的恐懼、對平靜生活的期望（或許從某一方面而言也是社會加諸的）。但是，期望能去更廣闊的世界看看的夢想，仍存留在我的心中。待到有經濟能力以後，我還是會爲自己的平凡生活創造一些屬於自己的火花

我說實話，我只能打3.5🌟 其實中間有一小部分我還沒看完，但是我看的體驗感確實一般，我也能預測這部分大概在講什麼。這本書看完之後，完全沒有想再看一遍的慾望，就連重看其中的某一部分我現在都沒有，後面我不知道會不會有。 可能是跟我的預期有關，我之前看過《刀鋒》和《月亮與六便士》，故事本身和其中的哲學章節都還比較平衡，這本書就不行，談戀愛，尤其是跟同一個人反覆糾纏的章節實在是太多了，我都忘記了我看的書名叫《人性的枷鎖》而不是《愛的枷鎖》，我原本預期這本書中會對命運的開局、學習道路、個人成長、獨立生活、事業發展、親密關係各個方面詳細展開，然後各個方面都有枷鎖，後來發現不是。所以前一小部分我認爲還是好看的，出生、讀書、輾轉城市換專業後面到事業再就業，都很有帶入感，中間一大段我認爲純屬毛姆個人的泄憤，把自己對於女性的仇恨通過虛擬人物發泄出來。 這書大家整體的評價還挺高，我不知道是否需要時間的沉澱，當我再遇到困難的時候會有再次回看某個部分的慾望。 總結，好看，但沒那麼好看，完全上榜不了「捨不得看完書單」。

於我而言，毛叔的人性的枷鎖這本書比月亮和六便士，還有刀鋒更精彩。可能是關乎我感興趣的話題——人性和人生意義的探討。用主角Phillip的大半生，講述成長，價值觀，追求與夢想，愛情，金錢等。我從沒想過，這些卻都有可能是枷鎖。人生無意義，但是木心說過，好在人生無意義，我們纔可以賦予他意義。最珍貴的就是每一個當下。我現在也可以迴歸日常瑣碎與平凡，創造並感受每一個美好與溫暖，而不是活在幻想中，看不到現實。我很慶幸生活在這個時代，自己也把閱讀變成習慣，通過閱讀、實踐，自己在生活上，認知上不斷改變。我相信一切會越來越好～